how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
