talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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