never play flip cup with pint glasses
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she pinky promised me she was 18
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
