woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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