Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
