Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
do herpes really smell.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
