Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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