Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize