sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
