people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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