so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
