Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
