Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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