I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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