babies were throwing up all over the place
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
