You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
