this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
