awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
