i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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