Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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