Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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