sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
