no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My ass is underappreciated
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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