omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
