PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
