It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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