i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
