No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
