We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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