How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
