Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
