If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
