Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think my tv is drunk
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
