before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
