how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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