FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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