i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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