it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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