omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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