its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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