Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
