"it" just moved
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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