please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
