Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
