Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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