Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize