Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
