Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
