I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
