So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
