Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
