the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
